Wednesday, August 21, 2013

Proverbs 24:16

"Though a righteous man falls seven times, he will get up, but the wicked fall into ruin"

Proverbs 24:16

Thinking today about how even the smallest promises of God are simply fulfilled in the grace to get back up again and again.

I want to be thankful for every promise. I want to train my children that grace is available to get back up again and again, through God's power.

Monday, August 19, 2013

The Last Sass

Here is a short story in honor of one of my 100 (literally) sisters. Ok, that's a lie, I have 5. No wait, WE are 5 girls total so I have... 4 sisters.  !MATH!

But as an appetizer to this story:

.....

I love Sundays after church. For the most part, whatever family is in town on a Sunday afternoon will eventually make it over to my parents rambling, space-filled home for copious amounts of food, talk, laughter and sitting around the kitchen table. Lots of sitting and eating.

And that's just the adults. And, as adults, we are not the ones who need rambling space (which makes it sound like cattle and tumbleweed are included - which I think is just fun to imagine!). We need all that space for our children. And there are plenty of children in my family. The most recent young crop being a passel of boys that are a puppy pile of elbows, dirt clouds and wrestling. They are precious. As long as there is rambling space for them to tumble within. Downstairs.

.....

So, here you have it, Sister (whom I will not name because I'm not 100% sure how you feel about internet privacy).

My sister, her husband and I had, oddly enough, moved away from the table to sit in the living room and stretch our legs and pregnant bellies on the couches (my sister and I, not the husband, though its fun to imagine!).
(OH! and sorry to break the No Back To Back Parenthesis rule, like I'm not already murdering parenthesis rules, but this is too wild. 3 of the 5 sisters are pregnant! Its the 3 youngest which isn't too weird except that there are 10 years between the 3 of us. We're having fun with it but its still pretty wild. All due within 5 months of each other.)

We were letting our food digest and swapping the more interesting stories from the week. And I don't know if we're just all a bit dramatic or if its simply a numbers game but there is ALWAYS something going on, some story to tell, some news to brief everyone on. I LOVE MY BIG FAMILY!

Today we were sharing the moments that had just happened in the car on the way that warranted explicit threats of discipline once we arrived at Mimi and Poppy's. Our car had experienced some roughhousing that had gone too far and Daddy had to walk 2 of them into a "private space" right away to "emphasize the point" about personal respect, as it were. And she shared that there had been a Daddy led walk of shame from her car as well, with the infraction being more along the lines of sass and disrespect directed toward Mommy, which Daddy promptly took it upon himself to remedy.

*Shiver*

I instantly remembered a vivid memory from my childhood when I had disrespected my mom in front of my dad. I don't know why I did it. Maybe it was the negative influences of TV and bad company corrupting my good morals. I know it wasn't the Smurfs or HeMan because we weren't allowed to watch that stuff. But it could have been something I picked up from a Sweet Valley High book I read at a friend's house. One of those twins was trouble!

I don't even remember what I said. But my dad turned to me and said:

"Don't ever talk to my wife like that again."

You know in those movies when there's this tunneling effect and everything gets farther away? If I knew that was a visual option, I would have embedded that bit of flair to my memory to forever be recalled. By his simple choice of words, I was instantly a stranger on the outside of the family; a smart-mouthed punk dishonoring the good name of his (who was much bigger than me) wife.

Upside: I'm a tender little rule follower and that was all it took to reinforce to me that before I came into this world and long after I move out, they will still be like a formidable tag team wrestling duo. And they will not take my sass.

And also, it makes a great story and its fun to imagine!


Wednesday, August 14, 2013

When I Put My Daughter on The Bus.

This week I put my daughter on The Bus for the first time. Its a school thing, she's been on a bus before, stop being so literal.

We stood at the bus stop waiting for...any bus to stop (I forgot to check the paperwork for the number - classic). We got there pretty early so we waited quite a while. We chatted. She was very cool and calm. Eventually, too soon, the bus got there and she hurried on. And then without event it pulled away and around the corner.

And that was it. A year of anticipating this new school experience and that was the grand send off. It wasn't grand. It was over. And she was alone now. Facing it all by herself. All the firsts. All at once. All by herself.

Yep, I cried a little. But I hate crying so I took a few big breaths, blinked a few times and starting walking home. And I thought and thought (its kind of a long walk to the bus stop). I wasn't scared for her. That wasn't it. She probably wasn't scared. She probably didn't even feel alone. She has been looking forward to this for a long time. She was probably just soaking it all in. She has a strong curiosity and that would be louder to her than any negative emotion.

But I was melancholy. Was I scared for her? Did I think she wouldn't be emotionally safe? I wasn't worried about "contamination" and I knew it was the right move for right now.

It wasn't all that. It wasn't necessarily about her being gone. I realized I was sad at the hard line that was just drawn in the timeline of our life. This phase of child:girl was over. I'm guessing these cathartic moments happen differently for everyone, but this was ours.

We had been homeschooling together thus far. And, since she is social and chatty, not even a math lesson went by without some question turning into a wandering discussion about values or hygiene or why we don't say that word but her friends do.

.....

Don't tell anyone but on really special mornings we would have coffee together while we started school. Her's was half milk and mostly creamer. It was our way of making school something much more personal and ours. 

.....

In a way I feel like I've taken one stop closer to the day she gets married and I hand her off to some relative stranger in whom I do not have all the confidence I would like to have. Its that trusting. Its the handing off to God and fate. Its letting go. I hate it.

Maybe later I'll talk about why we made the decision. It was a big one for us. Its a good story. Its about God and having a calling and an assignment. We talk a lot about Daniel and Samuel. We prayed into it and gave it to God and here's where we are. Its a good story I'd like to tell you one day. But the rest of my time this week belongs to Scout and all the first stories she'll need to tell. She's extroverted, after all, which in my book means "life doesn't happen unless I say it out loud".



Monday, August 12, 2013

I Heart Disclaimers

The idea is rolling around in my head to start every blog with: "Do you want to know what I think?"

Because 1: it sets the tone that the following are only my thoughts and while they *may* work just fine for me, results not typical.
And 2: it gives the random reader/stranger a heads up. If you do not want to know what I think then you can say no to ingesting my thoughts and move on. And by all means, if your intestinal fortitude and emotional readiness is not up for a steady stream of personal experience based truth and opinion then I encourage you to move on. 

I am not a doctor or counselor or other licensed professional and as such any assertions I make should  automatically fall under the category of "shady". Not because I consider myself a shady person, but because (and here's the point)...

If you don't know me personally, I don't recommend you listen to me.

That's probably a strong way to put it but its just how I feel and its how I feel about the blogs I read which ironically I've limited my exposure to considerably for this very reason. Because I don't know you. And, yes, any fool can have an opinion. 

.....

I SO WISH there could be some kind of Life License which would automatically make me an expert at all things life (money, parenting, cleaning and getting out stains, nutrition, pet care, appropriate humor and manners). Then I wouldn't second guess myself all the time!

The fact that I wish this actually came to me the other day and before I noticed that my thoughts were sprinting away I had already gone down a weird checklist of why that wouldn't work, practically. You heard me. Practically. As if logic hadn't already been long abandoned. By the time I caught myself, I was just shocked for a moment at the whole mental exchange and that it had gone so far!

P.S. I'm pregnant. It does something to your brains. (as my hand casually waves away your concerned look)

.....

And I must really, really mean it because at second glance, I wrote all these things a year and a half ago under the title Preachy McPreacherson. I give you two options here, scream plagiarism or high five me for that title! *upheld hand waiting*

*crickets*
So my advice is don't take my advice. *blank stare* (ok, I see what I did there)