Wednesday, June 6, 2012


*arms crossed*

My dad made me come back here.

Well, not MADE me like when I lived at home. But he did something so him: he publicly complimented this blog (granted, to a small public).  Benign, sure. But sneaky on his part. Because it made me go back and look at it again. Which made me think of how old the last post was. Which made me think and remember the lost year; an eventful one, unaccounted for. Which made me want to wrangle the words to express and have a record somewhere that I exist and live and struggle and win and lose and keep trying. And when I can resolve to keep trying I want to tell others, anyone who will listen, to keep trying. And if only one person hears the "keep trying" drum and is strengthened and encouraged to keep trying, is it worth it?

If the missionary goes out, pours his guts out in front of the heathens and spends himself on a message of greater glory - and one person sees the greater glory and it changes life for them, is it worth it?

Well, the numbers on that aren't great. But, I gotta say: Yes. As reproduction goes, if one yields one then that's considered sustaining. Its not amazing, but its something. I mean, John and I are two humans and we've yielded 3 humans thus far and so maybe not all growth should be exponential. Especially since, in the case of this blog, most of what I'm saying probably isn't all that great and no one should really be listening all that closely anyway.


Its because I read a comment I hadn't read before that someone left on the blog about forgiveness that said they were encouraged by it. "I needed to hear this today" or something along those lines. Gosh. I'd really love to available to give someone what they need today. A little something to keep going.


So, eyes askance, squinting at this screen through thinly veiled distain, I cave (cave into what exactly? the resolve to not be lazy anymore? I dunno. it should probably say, "i discipline myself" but that's not fun to read, is it?)

Now for gratuitous pictures of my children: this was on our way to a great trip to Chicago,

...and this is having arrived back in town. At 11pm. Troopers, these two.

Monday, February 20, 2012

Preachy McPreacherson

I won't lie to you. I've been conflicted.

I'm "cooling" on the idea of having a blog because why do I have it? I hoped that it would be an opportunity.  So that distance or schedule would not get in the way of a sitting-at-the-kitchen-table-over-coffee-style chat - while obviously one-sided.

I like the idea of journaling. I like writing. I like stories and hearing stories from others. I like hearing about the best thing thing that happened this week. Or the hardest thing. I like what someone learned about their child or their husband.

I don't like preaching.

And EVERYBODY preaches. Especially the news.

I watch TV. I really love PBS. It shows me lives and cultures that I would otherwise never have seen. But they can be VERY preachy.

Facebook can get preachy. Twitter is a preach-a-thon. And music isn't exempt. It just seems that everywhere I've looked for a while is telling me what to do/not do and how to think/not think.

I'm just topped-off. I'm overloaded on opinions. And that's where I get conflicted.

I'd like to share my life with people. But part of my life is developing, practicing and then possibly scrapping entire systems of values - the "why" behind what I do. Making me, depending on the reader, one more opinion thrown out there in a static-y sea of buzzing thought.

So, personally, I'm on a quest for truth. The Word of God is truth. Jesus is truth. And, I'm leaving everyone else to their opinion.

So please, don't take my word for it.