Friday, October 7, 2011

The Ways of Boys


I am number 4 of a total of 5 girls. My childhood home was all estrogen, all the time. Due to this, I've had a Ripley's Believe It or Not-style fascination with the ways of boys in general. As if males were an anomaly. Because in my family they were. What do they do? More importantly in this case, why do they do it?

Jesus answered my lifelong curiosity with some boys of my own. Well, I guess it really started with getting married, but that's different.

Side bar: Let's just quickly qualify the point that I am differentiating within the general topic of "males" based on relationship. I had friends, cousins and other outside male relationships like that. And I willingly married one but, qualifying it on relationship, my definition included "man" and "romance" and "flowers" and "love notes", etc., in other words, its biased.

All that to say, my everyday understanding of boy begins with my 6 year old, especially non-verbal son. So, as I have questions like "is this a personality thing or do all boys NOT talk EVER?" - my son isn't the one to ask for insight into himself. And this comes into play especially with school. And here is where I thank difficult circumstances for the much better outcome: I got book on the library about boys and their brains!

No, seriously, that's the punchline. Author Michael Gurian had done years of brain study on boys and men and the male brain. THANK YOU, SIR! And has come out with some books to talk about what makes boys so unique and great (because, frankly, they get kind of a bad rep if you think about it).

I've read through (ok, skimmed for the pertinent parts) 3 of his books about adult male relationships, how boys and girls learn differently and the need for boys to have a higher calling. Very, very interesting stuff. I've changed some of the ways I relate to my son, but especially in the ways I try to motivate my son or give him greater meaning. My 9 yr old daughter has even come back to me to tell me a tip or two she has used in her relationship with her brother. Bottom line: useful.

So, do you have a boy in your life? Go out to your library (of which I'M SURE you already have a card, because you support your community) and get The Wonder of Boys.

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