I haven't posted much. Mainly because I'd think of the last posting (about the van) which would make me sad and wonder what I could possibly talk about? What has been happening since then - only the elaborate emotional journey into what I've always believed to be true about God, His character and His heart being challenged in this little chapter of our life? Its undoubtedly been very meaningful to John and I and our lives will forever bear the marks of the experience - but it makes for slow reading.
Until last night. Midnight last night to be specific.
But it was about 46 days:
- 46 days of driving around the corner to arrive home and looking to see if our van had reappeared as mysteriously as it disappeared.
- 46 days of jumping at every phone call in the hope that its the police. It wasn't. For 46 days.
- After a month, we canceled the insurance, and died a little.
- For 3 weeks we prayed every Monday morning (the day it was stolen) just before dawn on our street where the car was stolen to bring our petition before the Lord and ask for His justice. (thank you to our dear strategic intercession friend's counsel and advice)
- hope turns to hurt. hurt turns to questions. questions start teetering on blame and ultimately that leads to rethinking what we've believed to be true of God. That starts heading into some very "Job" territory. At least I had Job's experience to teach me not to complain and make demands of God but instead to appeal and ask Him to reveal Himself to me.
a.k.a Heart surgery.
We will be drawing lessons from this for our lives and the lives of others forever. God only knows.